The Sexual Component

O.K., parental advisory, today’s blog is not for youngsters. It is an adults only posting.

Today I want to chat about the sexual component of interracial dating. For many people interracial dating is about sex. This is probably rooted in sexual curiosity, stereotypes, and the long-standing taboos against it. If you don’t believe how big a component of interracial ideas this is, just type in the word “interracial” into your web browser’s search bar and notice how many porn and sex-oriented sites come up versus sites dedicated to loving relationships that fit this category. Frankly I even had to drop using Google Adsense, Google’s ad software that can be placed on these blogs which basically work by searching for keywords in your postings and generating ads that might be appropriate for your site. Well that is a great concept and I’m sure works wonderfully for most blogs. But since race and interracial relationships clearly come in any keyword search on mine, I found myself having to constantly try to block ads that related to interracial sex or dating ads. I gave up. If I can figure out a way around that I may try again though, just to see if it is possible to attract ads that are more focused on love and relationships, as opposed to the old sexual taboo and all attracted by it.

Maybe in a way, it’s not such a bad thing that so many people are attracted to interracial or inter-ethnic dating, because of sexual curiosity or attraction. I guess for many relationships, a physical attraction is the initial magnet anyway. And maybe for some of those drawn only by that physical component, they will eventually get past that and learn to see the other person for more than what they represent it, and grow to see them for who they are.

And yet, of course, it is also true that if all a person sees in another is the skin color or ethnicity, and that is what the attraction is rooted in, especially if it is sexual, then that can be a huge barrier to realizing that that person you are in bed with is more than just a physical thing and that they can be respected for something more. After all, many men have proven the ability to objectify women without respecting them as real people at the same time.

All I know is that it is certainly disappointing to realize that for many people, when they see an inter-ethnic couple, their perception is that the relationship must be rooted in sexual curiosity rather than real love. But as I said before, while I wish it were possible to look up “interracial” without all the sex links, maybe I should accept it as a good thing that while on the surface many people still seem to have a problem with such relationships, and yet under cover (pun intended) many are obviously attracted to and curious about such couplings.

Hey, whatever floats your boat I guess.

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