I had an interesting conversation with my wife today about the idea of choices. In our discussion the point was made that in life, in almost every situation or problem that we come across, no matter how difficult, there is almost always a choice for us to make. We concluded that even when the alternatives available do not seem like much of choice, either because the solution is not an optimum one, or because it does not completely satisfy the issue or problem, there is still a choice. Or at least there should be. Because in the end, even if we are paralyzed by, or depressed, or unhappy with a choice, and therefore choose to do nothing, even that is still a choice. So our conclusion was it certainly makes more sense to be an active participant in the choosing process rather than being passive and letting circumstance choose for you. After all, something will be chosen, something will be the outcome of every situation.
So what, you may be asking, does this have to do with the subject of this blog. Here it is. This society, the larger one in general and the many smaller sub-societies in particular, whether they be ethnic based, religious based, neighborhood based, or any number of the other myriad ways people group, will always try to force its opinions, mores, and group-think codes of behavior onto the individual. And of course, in any society, this is not altogether bad, since standards of behavior are necessary for a functioning society. But it is also true that each and every one of us has to have the power and the ability to make choices, especially in the areas of personal desire that do no harm to oneself or anyone else. In the area of who any of us choose to date, we cannot let society or its subcultures make choices for us. The moment we do that, we have abdicated the importance of the individual to impact the larger society and help it move forward.
If we don’t choose for ourselves, the society, and those who oftentimes think in much more small-minded and often fear-based ways, will certainly choose for you. And in the end, none of those people will have to live with the choice and the consequences they have foisted upon you. There is always a choice to make, whether it has to do with everyday life problems or whether it is in who you choose to date, marry, and start a family with. Be unafraid to be the one making the choice.