It occurred to me after looking back over some of my posts that I should probably write about the fact that in discussing all these issues related to mixed ethnicity people it could come across as if I were espousing the belief that mixed is better for everyone. Or that everyone should be in a bi-ethnic relationship. Let me go on record right now. That is certainly not what I am saying and is not the purpose of this blog. I am all for choice. Every person has to decide what works for them. Love comes in many forms and configurations. And I applaud a positive relationship whenever and wherever someone can find it. My ongoing point, and wish, is that people should also accept that everyone should have the right to pick a partner or spouse out of whichever ethnic group they choose, as long as they are happy. And consequently, people should accept that the children who come out of those relationships are not to be looked upon as oddities or children who are destined to have social isolation problems.
Those are the dual sides of this “interracial” dating coin. There are those who believe that anyone they see who is with someone outside of their own ethnic group is somehow a “self-hater” of his or her own ethnicity. I was checking out some other sites on this issue the other day and came across a blog of an African-American young woman who had extreme issues with black men who date “outside their race” as she put it. She felt it was an affront to every black woman and that simply by doing it, black men were somehow making a conscious decision to spit in the face of black women. That was not the first time I have heard how touchy this issue is for many black women. And I am also sure that it can be touchy for any group – Hispanic, Asian, Anglo, whatever. And I do know that there are some men out there who do make a conscious choice that they think a certain ethnicity is better, so they will only date those women.
But it is such a long stretch to apply that generalization to EVERY man or person who walks down the street with someone of a different ethnicity. Generalization is easy, which is why it is the root of bigotry. What makes more sense is to accept that it is also possible that two people have simply found an attraction and a connection, not because of skin color, but in spite of it. And that IS something to applaud because what I see when I see these couples, are two people who cared more for each other than they did about what others preferred to dictate. So their relationship shouldn’t get more points than one not crossing ethnic lines but it certainly shouldn’t be stereotyped either. I agree that people who target one ethnicity simply because they have a preference for that group, are thinking along racial lines. And that is not what I would hope for, whether they are Mexican saying they only want to date White or whether they are Asian saying they ONLY date Asian. Both decisions are rooted in being closed minded. When people can choose who they want without regard to ethnic make-up, we are truly free.
The other side of that racial coin I mentioned relates to the kids. Again, I am not putting mixed kids on a pedestal. All I want to get across is that these kids, rather than be stared at as oddities or shown false concern out of a belief that somehow they will be social misfits, are living breathing symbols of how we can indeed get along. All children are special and beautiful and gifts to humanity. One ethnicity is not better than another and mixed does not make them a superior new ethnicity. All I am hoping for, by the way I raise my kids, and by the way I try to make this world a better, less polarized place, is that all of these mixed kids can be free to be ALL that they are. And the way that an Italian-Russian person can proudly proclaim their heritage, we get to the point where a Black Jamaican- Italian American kid can do the same. I want no more and no less.